My husband losing me and at the same time, me losing my husband
This proves just as tough as rubber boots trying to figure out who to put at the forefront. I initially said me losing my husband, first. But then, I always want and try my best to put him and his needs before my very own. It took a few more seconds for me to realize that I could go before him because death isn’t marked by any particular age.
That then places me to ponder on how he would feel if I’d passed on, being that he’s expressed how devastated he would be a few times before.
I know for me I’d be beyond hurt and sorrier than I can imagine being at this moment when left with the thought of living without my Hunny Mocha Bunny in my presence.
However, I don’t want to leave him here in this physical life all alone and lonely. I wouldn’t want him to experience the heartache of being without me and attempting to remain strong through it all…
…. and yet, at the same time, I don’t want him burdened with heartache and sorrow over his concerns of leaving me by myself, either.
But…. then again, that feeling for either of us for each other prolly wouldn’t settle in until one of us, being that it happens in such a manner out of our control, was on our way out of this lively physical realm. The wise thing to do would to is to out my best foot forward in assuring my freedom is passed on to him, not passing him any struggles, worries, and burdens.
I’m on it, praying and hoping I have the time and much more time to fulfill true enjoyment and count and utilize the preciousness of whatever time my husband and I hopefully have together.
Whichever way, I’d rather it not happen either way, but of course will try my best to accept it if I’m the one who lives on a bit further.
And I know many will judge that I would have no choice but to accept or my husband the same also. I believe that to be not 100% entirely true.
If I happened to pass away shortly thereafter my husband due to a broken heart, does that not, in some way or another, consists of my inability to bear going on living the rest of my time on earth with his demise…?
Or, does it constitute an unwillingness on my behalf, a refusal to accept that death of my husband did us apart…?
Hmmm…….
My sincere apologies for the typo in paragraph 7, 2nd section where it should read:
The wise thing for me to do would be to put my best foot forward in assuring my freedom is passed on to him, not passing him any struggles, worries, and burdens.