What’s the funniest joke you know by heart?

Well, today I had to go to the doctors, I shouted to the receptionist ‘QUICK, I NEED TO SEE THE DOCTOR NOW, MY DICK HURTS!’!

The receptionist scolded me. ‘Mr. Watson, we do not use that language here, in front of women and children, go outside, calm down and when you come back in, you say, your ear hurts’.

So, a couple of minutes later still in pain, I came back in and said to the receptionist calmly, ‘please, I need to see a doctor, my ear hurts?’ The receptionist said, ‘Ok, Mr. Watson, what’s wrong with your ear?’

I said, ‘I can’t piss out of it’.